"Yeah," I said. "I know…" But the truth was, I didn't. Who was gonna be feeling up my bra so hard that they'd think, "Oh my GOD! IT'S FUCKING PADDED!" My boyfriend, sure, maybe, but he's seen my bras hanging in the shower, and Lord knows, he's seen me without them. I think he's pretty much clued in to my little ruse, here. So, who else would it be? The occasional rude guy who elbows me on the subway? I'm actually thankful for my padded bras in those situations. Extra protection, and I generally don't feel it anyways. So, there's that. I decided to try on a water bra anyways, just to see.
Well lemme tell you guys, if you're small-breasted (I'm talking size A or under), don't get one of these bras. I nearly peed my pants laughing when I put it on. I looked like I had two nuclear warheads implanted in my chest; in my head, they made sounds like, "puh-TWANNNNG!" This was possibly the funniest moment of my breastly life. I realized that big breasts (even real, normal shaped ones) would look really retarded on a skinny-ass chick like myself. I walked out with my half-an-orange-sized wonderbra instead. But - strapless this time… to fake people out when I wear spaghetti-strapped tops. I'm always lookin' out for myself.
So, to sum up:
"Everybody
here is outta' sight
they don't bark and don't bite
they keep things loose, they keep things alight
everybody was dancin' in the moonlight
Dancin'
in the moonlight
Everybody's feelin' warm, and right
it's such a fine and natural sight
everybody's dancin' in the moonlight"
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